July 1, 2009

not knowing

Salam pretties ;D
How are you doin'? I hope everything is Ok and under control.. unlike me here *spit*
See, i've got lotsa things to do, and one of it to send my IELTS result to a couple of universities for my postgraduate course, and i am so malas (what else is new??) and i shouldnt be sebenarnya!!

MOVE YAYA!!! MOVE!! its for your own good la pompuan!!!

Anyway...

I talked to a friend last night.. late last night to be exact. She was telling me on how her life is now, her love life, her career, her family - her mum to narrow it, her aim and her goal. It was undeniably pleasant to talk to this adult friend of mine - upright, confident and steadfast. Of all the things she told me, there was only one thing that really caught my ear and i really took heed. It was her love life. I guess i can relate to all of her topics but this particular one - i totally dig!

She mentioned how she always dreams of someone (a guy duhh!!) who is loyal, generous, trustworthy, independent, smart, witty, humble and would love her for who she is - which is crazy, no, not the values or her dream tu yang crazy, its her - she is crazy! Good crazy but crazy nontheless!! She said that this guy would be her prince charming for accepting her as she is (she got good looks la, but hey everybody does these days!!) and that she would know it by heart if she encounters him or vice versa. Then a possible prince charming came along and he swept her off her feet, instantly! She was astounded! She never thought a guy with such great values and honors exist - not for her the least! They got together (long story short) and everything was wonderful - for a while - untill the day she found out that he is waaay too of a possessive person for her. He is so protective, possessive and preservative!! She mentioned that those values could turn him easily into a green monster or a big-brother like boyfriend. He's playing the role of a guardian which isnt that bad actually but she unconsciously screamed for space and more space!!
She clarified to him and uncover every feelings and guts she has - and to her surprise, he apologized and wanted to cogitate - weigh and ponder. Basically he gave what she asked for - space and more space; but she didnt see that bonus/free gift coming - that part where he sebenarnye nak space to reflect and weigh and ponder!! She cried, weeped and melancholied.

"I never thought he would say that, seriously!! And i cannot believe that i am this dissapointed and desolate!! I am literally the cause of my own unhappiness!! He said that maybe we need some times off each other - maybe a long time, maybe a short one, but only god knows. If we then realize that we want each other for ourselves and for who that person was, is and will be, then we can pick things up where we left them..but untill them please take as much time and space as you need for i also need to ponder upon it.."

And last night, she claimed she now knows and gets that nobody is perfect, nobody, not even her; and that Allah dah granted her wish and answered her prayers for a guy with all the values mentioned!! And she let it slip - not orang lain, its she herself!! She said that she realized the saying that somehow goes "you dont know how much you want it until its not yours" is sangat sangat sangat true!! It couldnt be any truer! She didnt ask for a guy yang not possessive and not protective from Allah, in fact she asked for other things - gazillion of other things except those, AND she got 'em all, all gazillion!!

"I could've settled myself with him, be thankful and be grateful, but NO!! i dengan sengaja nye dig and dig and dig until i jumpe something bout him yang i dont dig!! And for all i know - its not that bad pun, its just his way of showing me that he loves and wants me!! And if i recall balik, i got everything i wanted in a guy!! and now i blew it!! i pulled the trigger myself, didnt get any help from no one pun!!!"

I am terribly sad for this friend of mine..she let the man of her dreams go! Kapooosh!!
She once had love, budding and blossoming love and now she has none, and whats worst is that she was just being honest and frank and typical! Well if she had known then, just what she knows now, she would've treat him differently, she would've handle things differently.. at least thats what she said la *sigh*

Yapping with this friend last night made me understand clearly that you will eventually get what you want, you will eventually get what you asked for, what you seeked for and what you looked for.
Allah is great, dont you think?? And all you have to do, you know when you get what you desired, just be thankful and grateful!! That is it sebenarnya.. Be it love, career, anything - you name it! Allah wants his umat to seek him for help, so seek; and Allah is giving, thus he will give! And when he does, thank him.. pretty, thank him!

ALHAMDULILLAH

p.s. I really really really hope my friend will work it out with this guy but like she said to me smlm, "If it doesnt work out, i am pretty damn sure that it is for the better better..".

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey dryaya..
love it when youre chatty and crappy *wink*

Anonymous said...

Hi dryaya...how's ur fren relationship with her bf???

yaya othman said...

TQ anonymous #1 hehe ;D

anonymous #2 - i have not talk to my friend ever since that nite..
hmm... maybe i should call her tonite! *wink*

nini said...

maybe u dont have to *wink*

nini said...

maybe u dont have to *wink*

yaya othman said...

nini, maybe i dont hafta call her?!
lol