February 17, 2009

u wanna piece of me ??

We all know somebody who is a doubletalker, a gossip and a generally untrustworthy person. They are cruel to their enemies and even meaner to their friends - only with the friends the mean streak only comes out when their backs are turned. This type of friend is all sweetness and sugar to people's faces but act fugly *regina george ness* and spiteful behind their backs. We call people like this "backstabbers" because they sneak around portraying themselves as something they are not, a friend. Do you have one of these snakes in your life?

I, for one, had an experience with backstabber (sorang nih la yg i mmg tak leh lupe!!!), actually its so recent!! I memang tak sangka laaa...they are so tricky and so so cunning tau!! I mmg do not know how to face 'em and the moment i found out on the rumours she spread, i cried!! Yes, it may be a sign of weakness, but i'm only human and to top it, i really really didnt see it coming!!
I googled backstabber and studied on the subject and thought of sharing the infos i found with y'all ...ngeh ngeh..

Steps

1. All backstabbers share a common denominator; they all want something from you. Whether it is money, homework, a house to trash, your computer, your style, practically anything, varies from person to person.

2. Be aware of your surroundings. If you have a bad feeling about somebody, listen to your instincts!

3. Pay attention to red flags
-If somebody betrays you, don't trust that person again without extensive consideration.
-If the other person doesn't have friends of his or her own, there may be a reason. Perhaps other people know something that you don't.
-If someone is mean to you one minute and nice to you the next, there is definitely something wrong.
-If someone is too aggressive or tries too hard to sell you on something, he or she is likely setting you up.
-Trust your real friends. They're here to help you.
-Notice the other person's work ethic. If he or she is lazy and irresponsible, stay away from the person as far as anything that requires hard work goes. If you work hard, he or she will use you in a heartbeat!

4. Notice how he/she treats things you care about. For instance if you really care that your room is clean, and after you've explained this to him/her, he/she still comes over, throws his/her stuffs on the ground, takes his/her shoes off in the middle of the room and so on; this means he/she doesn't really care about you.

5. Try to detect from an early stage what the backstabber is interested in sucking from you.

6. If the backstabber persists in pestering you, either ignore him or tell him dispassionately that you do not want to do (insert activity here). Be polite, but extremely firm. If they detect a weakness in your firmness, they will try as hard as they can to puncture it.

Tips

-Get away from these people as soon as possible and convince others not to associate with them.
-Don't hesitate to ask questions. If somebody seems shady in any perspective, ask them about it but pay close attention to their answers. More often than not, they will try to pull one over you.
-There is a difference between friends and acquaintances. This means that even though he/she might be fun to talk with, he/she might not be the kind of person you would like to hang out with after all.
-Don't rely on the backstabber for anything; even the tiniest of things. In this way, you will avoid situations where you owe him/her a favor. This technique takes patience, practice and goes completely against your better nature. The backstabber will get the hint and move on the next sucker/victim.
-Also do not tell them any secret that you want kept hidden, as they will tell it to another one of their "friends" the moment it will gain them something.
-Treat him/her like you would any other snake. Be polite when in his/her area but keep to the path, and maintain your distance.
-Make sure not to reduce to his/her level by saying untrue and bad things about him behind his back (this is a huge no-no!) as it will only spur him/her to action against you.
-When seeking justified revenge from the backstabber, take time to closely observe their antics and policies. When the opportunity comes along- fool them into their own game but do it with style (of course) and grace. Make sure you're not going against your own values and self-worth in the process.

Warnings

-Never let the backstabber know that he/she has gotten to you.
-Do not underestimate his/her power. Try not to offend or hurt him/her, but be merely polite and refuse him/her anything he/she asks that you are not willing to give.
-Do not get angry when he/she backstabs you. Realize from the start it will happen eventually. Don't form any deep relationship with him/her. He or she'll suck you dry.
-Be careful when you talk to backstabbers, they might be recording you.
-Don't talk to the backstabbers friends, they could be spies.

So, what do you think?? Well, i for one cannot detect a backstabber. If a person is nice to me, i would simply agree that he/she mmg being nice without any hidden agendas.
But maybe, lepas ni, i would know better, and maybe i wouldnt *sigh*

7 comments:

dilla said...

yaya. standard aa tuh.. those people mmg exist in our lives.. kkdila pon baru kena secotek hr tu.. heartache la jugak aku!! yg bestnye, dengan org yg sama backtabbing aku nie, dulu kkdila dah kena skali...tp ntah apa2 ntah.. tak serik... biler kena kali kedua nie mmg terasa parahnye.. bukan setakat back stab tapi semua.. talam dua muka... dan macam2 lagi.. depan kite giler macam pijak semut pon tak mati.. tp belakang... mak ai!!! serba tak kena mende yang kita buat...

takpe yaya.. biler dah kena.. kia belajar dari pengalaman.. tu lagi bagus.. just remember.. biar org buat pada kita, jangan kita buat pada orang sbb sesungguhnya Allah itu maha kaya dan adil.. biarlah balasan dia Allah yang bagi..kita cume as a hamba.. try to forgive and forget, and move on.. biarlah org tu dengan cara org tu..

be happy and cheers always!

yaya othman said...

yes yes...mmg pun forgive and forget laa...tapi bile ingat geram weh!! hahaha

tika said...

sape ni yang ko maksudkan?tak x citer pun...

yaya othman said...

ai, aku citer la, tp ko tu tak brape nk dgr sbb ko letey br kuar OT and ko sebok nk citer psl toot....hehe

tika said...

oi minah tu ke?i tot she was not ur fren?how come she can backstab u?heheheh...did tu mmg giler...hahahah...
ps: nway, aku dengar tau citer ko,jgankecik ati plak..yang 'citer aku tu' sampingan je...aku ni best listener tau..IELTS aku dapat 9 for listening tau...hehehe

yaya othman said...

haah mmg gile pun!!
she is not really my fren la tp acted as if she is (desperado)!! haha
bile masa plak ko amik ielts?? patut ar ko bole gi otago! otago kena ielts tinggi kan? aku ingin ke states sbnrye, Linda Loma! i wish i wish!!
p.s. ye tika mmg ko superb listener! dlm ramai2 geng kita, ko yg paling byk aku share!!

Anonymous said...

hye Dr.yaya...
maaf yer..saya baru jer copy and paste beberapa noktah tentang backstabber ker dlmblog saya ... tapi saya dh creditkan kp dr.yaya jugak...

saya cuma search tentangbackstabber... dan terjumpa blog dr. yaya ni ... takper kan..?

saya betul2 terasa bila ada kawan yg macamni.. tikam dari belakang... sungguh menyakitkan.. benar2 menyakitkan..


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